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candlestick park in the distance — a painter in the wastelands : bernal heights, san francisco (2010)
a single of my disappointments upon moving up to san francisco was to discover that each and every single one particular of my sf FLICKR contacts was involved in strangely bizarre and disturbing sexual conundrums.
fundamentally, they have been completely grown adults who had entered into sex-contract relationships and have been majorly regretting that selection. and worse, breaking those contracts and searching for intimates to share the details of the breach!
1 of them, a notoriously properly-identified photographer on flickr, was getting this fake affair with a woman in canada to piss his wife off. he loved the focus she showered on him when he cheated. her anger fed his sense of value. but he had four little ones who were also living by means of this hell. when his girlfriend and wife began to haunt my stream in attempts to uncover out details about his life i cut him out. it was a really challenging selection to make, but when i revisited my time with him, i realized that all he talked about was his obsession with disturbing his wife. each conversation was a narcissistic revitalization of this topic — he wasn’t even seeing me as anything far more than a sounding board for his neurosis.
that was the hardest and saddest factor for me. the challenging component was giving up on a extended term friendship that had meant the world to me back in the early 90s when we each lived in this city in the exact same neighborhood and hung out all the time exploring the city.
the sad part was that he had currently had at least two affairs of this nature prior to AND had promoted them on flickr. i was naive and had believed in our 20+ year friendship, so i got trounced by everybody.
i won’t go into the other conditions, but needless to say, i suddenly realized that these folks that i had identified on flickr for six years have been hardly the people i had imagined them to be. every a single of them was absorbed in the ambiguous mysteries of corrupted relational demise.
now, i never have any flickr buddies in real life, except a single friend that i’ve known for over a decade lengthy before either of us became flickr men and women. and a excellent make contact with in south korea that i got to meet and hang out with back in 2009 when i was in seoul! my other friends on flickr i’ve never met in person. possibly one day!
in the meantime, i do wonder what it would be like to bounce around this city with somebody genuinely exciting and cool to hang out with who likes the "work" of shooting and being. all my other friends in the city "tolerate" my interests in the planet around me and my documentation process, but i do dream of locating some cool peeps to shoot with.
photographers are a breed of people, a distinct class of humans who use their minds and their eyes in various approaches than other folks.
i miss their company…
By torbakhopper on 2011-ten-15 11:25:55